Where to Start?

Where to begin? ... I feel like my mind is just so jumbled lately with soooo ... many thoughts and questions. The most prominent one of them all has been, "Where do I begin?".  Seriously I feel like I could scream, but that would wake up the baby, lol. 

Any-who, my second best solution is to write down everything that has been rolling around in this head of mine. At times I wish I had my very own Pensieve (nerd reference from Harry Potter, in case you don't know what a Pensieve is, Professor Dumbledore explained it to Harry this way, "I use the Pensieve. One simply siphons the excess thoughts from one's mind, pours them into the basin, and examines them at one's leisure (in third person). It becomes easier to spot patterns and links, you understand, when they are in this form."  It's basically a wizards way of keeping a journal, only you get a third person, 3D perspective from it. So after deciding screaming my frustrations out was a bad idea, I wrote everything down instead. Now I feel more relaxed and yet guilty for not writing in my journal more often than not, but that's another story for later. 

After reviewing my hefty list of thoughts, hopes, dreams, goals, etc. I realized that my priorities in life right now are out of sync with what matters most. While they are good priorities, they are not in the right order. I've discovered that when you make this realizations, the next step is the hard part of reorganizing and letting go of our past in persue with faith for a better future. 

"It's a puzzlement" as the King of Siam would say (from the King and I). Again after liberating my frustrations in writing, I again find myself faced with the same starting question. "Where to begin?". Where do I begin with my reorganizing and prioritizing, how do I start it all? And then a sweet still small voice calls to my mind, "from the beginning of what matters most." Finally, something I know the answer to. I know what matters most to me above all else in this life. My Family. 

And so the next steps I take into the future are all for my family, without them I would have nothing. They are my number one priority. 

(via)